GETTING FOCUSED

By Jonette Stabbert 

http://www.stabbert.com

Published January 2003 on http://www.womensinternational.net/

Connecting with a good coach is like having a successful eye operation; I

should know -- I've experienced both.

The operation helped my eyes to focus and my vision to clear, and my coach

did the same for my inner self.

I always went in ten different directions and worked on a great many projects

at the same time. Chaos defined me, and stress was never far away. Trying

hard to complete everything while taking on more all the time, I fooled myself

by calling it multi-tasking and congratulating myself on being Superwoman.

But inside, I had a growing sense of frustration. Busy juggling projects and

keeping all the balls in the air gave me no time to make serious headway in

any direction. I thought I was getting so much done, but I was really like a

hamster on a treadmill. I needed to be centered, and I wanted to make more

money.

Now I'm focused, organized, more successful and aware of my steady

progress. A coach helped me take control of my life. That's what coaches do.

You may accomplish your goals on your own, but coaching can help you

get there faster. First, you need to articulate your goal(s). I participated in

coaching exercises given by Hedwig Campman and Joke Botman at the

recent WIN Coaching Night. In one exercise, within a limited time frame,

participants were instructed to walk around the room and meet as many

people as possible, only stating their names and dreams. (Example: Jonette Stabbert / My dream is to establish my own writers' and artists' retreat.) I

was stunned by the large number of women who stated their names, then

mumbled variations of "I don't know what my dream is yet" or the slightly

less blurry "My dream is to change the world, but I don't know how I'll do

this". To me, this is the equivalent of getting into a car and just driving, with

no idea of what the destination is -- like the words of an old Leo Sayer song,

It's not easy when the road is your driver. Time passes quickly and it's a

waste to be passive about your life!

People seek out a coach when they are ready to make a change. Sometimes

a career transition motivates them, but most people could benefit from

coaching. What can coaching do for you? It can help you define your goals

and find the way to reach them. This could be more money, more clients,

ending a relationship, finding a career that satisfies, and just about any dream

you want to realize. Common problems are: being out of balance, working all

the time, being exhausted all the time, spending all your time with your

children, etc. "Back up a minute," I hear you say. "Ending a relationship?

You mean that coaches can help with relationships?" Yes. There are even relationship coaches who specialize in this area. It's still about focus. Any

coach will tell you that the key to a relationship starts with working on yourself.

It's important to stress that a coach is not a therapist.

I asked coach Stephanie Ward (WIN member and my coach) what the

difference is. Here's what she said: "Therapy is about yesterday and resolving

the past -- finding out 'why'. Coaching is about today and going forward and

what you want to do now. It's about taking action." She explained further that

the clients actually have all the answers; the coach's job is to listen and help

them dig the answers out of themselves. The client does it all!

Most coaches have their own coaches. It helps you understand the process

if you've been coached. Some people who've had their lives changed and

improved through coaching decide to become coaches.

Surprisingly, several people have remarked that they would love to get a

coach, but couldn't afford the fees. These same people have no qualms about spending money on cosmetics, fashions and luxuries. Isn't an investment in

oneself a priority? It's about quality of life. Are you moving ahead or standing

still? Are you focused? Do you know what your dreams are? Do you have a

plan? Do you know what your obstacles are, and how to get past them? Is

your life in balance? If you replied 'no' to any of these questions, a coach

may be just the answer you need. Get focused and the way ahead will be

very clear.

©2003 Jonette Stabbert

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Life & Business Coach Stephanie Ward helps business owners

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